Lenten series: Are you afraid? Scared? Doubting?

   

  

  This verse is so powerful and so comforting. Imagine the Father telling us that it’s okay to doubt, to be afraid. It’s natural to be scared, but it’s so hard for us to trust Him.

This verse was written by King David while in captured by the Philistines in Gath. This highlights choosing faith over fear even during dangerous times. And encourages us to rely to God’s strength. 

I remember last year of July, 2025 I got a job here in the UK as a Guest Services Assistant in one of the biggest hotel brands in the world. It is also known as a “hotel receptionist”, it is not a biggie since this role is my first job here in the UK. People say there are a lot of jobs here, but I struggled to find one. I also recall submitting my CVs to different companies over the internet, it was over a five hundred but none of them succeeded. This role was given by God,  I remember I cried thanking and praising God for all his goodness. Imagine me transitioning from banking to hospitality. Also, communication is really a big challenge for me, because English is not my first language and communicating with guests and colleagues is a bi challenge. Slowly, I try to talk without accent, simple and specific terms. I thank my colleagues for being there for me, supporting my back and encouraging me to be better more everyday. Second, transportation is not a big problem but during late shifts, I need to walk a kilometer long alone in the street going home. But I continuosly thrive at work, I make sure I do and try my best everyday. Hospitality humbled me so much, from welcoming guests, doing kitchen work, learning F&B, communicating everyday in English. Everyday is a new challenge and learning for me. For seven consistent months, I topped the most enrollments. It also gave us bonus points which we can use to stay at any IHG hotels worldwide and incentives of 50GBP throughout the month so praise the Lord! 

 The salary was good but cost of living here in the UK is so extravagant. It was also a struggle for me to adjust especially on my first months living here in the UK. I spent all my savings from the Philippines, I even used my credit cards to pay off bills and expenses. Conversion and border fee killed me. I was crying every night to God, crying to sleep begging to give me a job. I was so eager to find a job to pay off all my debts, my loans, my dues, my daily expenses. God! You knew! T_T

I don’t know why I was so angry at those times when it was actually my fault. I couldn’t ask my husband, bless him he was so naive. It felt to me that he was so ignorant, insensitive and selfish. But it was actually my fault, I didn’t ask any allowance from him. I am so proud and boast. And I was so angry in so many ways. 

Also, my husband booked a holiday with us in Bournemouth. He really loves the seaside. I loved it too. We stayed for 3days and it was a proper holiday for both of us since we did not have our proper honeymoon after our wedding. 

When we got home, I applied a job at Holiday Inn Express -Windsor last July 28, 2025. And right on the spot I was hired. I was so lucky, I am so relieved and really cried. God really hears what I desired. It was not a big position but atleast I finally got a job. A new start, a new career, and a new beginning. I started my first day on my birthday. Really a wish come true, my wish really came true. A wish I really I was begging from God. Oh! Hallelujah! He remembered me.

Few months later, a difficult colleague was arising until this day. Other colleague of mine was telling me I was too sensitive to handle him. And yes! I admit that! I am too weak, I also tell my husband what I was been doing at work. He really is pissed too. 

This current job is what God gave to me, and now I’m complaining. Just because there are difficult colleagues. Am i really grateful? Am I really thankful? Am I too weak? Or am I just afraid of rejections?This reminds me what was in Exodus when Moses led the Israelites to the land of milk and honey. God showered Manna everyday, but people keep complaining. People were so ungrateful and that was I in this difficult time. Sometimes I think God didn’t give me the job I had applied last week(take note it was my dream job), a work from home job. It’s because I don’t deserve it? Or maybe God knows I am going to be more stressful on that job. Who knows? God only knows. 

Anyways, I already doing long in this current job almost 10 months. All my holidays were already approved. Patience, perseverance, and motivation is what I need the most now that I came far enough to quit.

Lord, teach me always to trust you. Why am I always doubting?

I know your plans are far better than mine. If this is what God wants me, I can wait. 

Waiting..

Praying..

Trusting you always..

God is my provider, He is our FATHER. He knows better than we do. His plans are bigger than what we expects. He is making sure we are ready when he gives the perfect gift. He is making sure we are strong enough to handle big responsibilities. 

Breakfast Ideas: Deviled eggs toast

This breakfast toast is so savory and so easy to do. If you love slow mornings, pop your kettle on with your favourite coffee/tea. This is the best toast I did this year! I swear! You will crave this every morning!

    

I will give you a step by step instructions and ingredients you need. It’s super easy! You almost have all the ingredients in your kitchen.

1. Eggs! Eggs! Eggs! This is the main ingredient. Hard boiled eggs. I love boiling my eggs in exact 8 minutes. For me this is the perfect time to boil your eggs. I boiled 2 medium free range brown eggs in this series. After you boil your egg,  it is very important to soak them to ice cold water for 5-8 minutes so it’s easy for you to peel the egg shells.

2. While you are boiling your eggs, start to toast some sourdough. Well, any bread can do but for me sourdough is the perfect pair for this toast because it’s crusty and tangy. I used Jason’s The great white sourdough. Each slice has 107kcal, really a good source of energy to start your day. 

3. After I peeled my eggs, I crushed them to a small bowl with 1 tbsp of Heinz Light Mayonnaise, a dash of Colman’s English Mustard and 1 tsp of smoked paprika. I mixed all the ingredients and topped it to my freshly toasted sourdough. 

4. To add more flavour and savory, I sprinkled a handful of cheddar cheese to the toast and this is an option but I want to melt the cheese over the toast in the preheated oven for 8 minutes. 

Sprinkle some black pepper and a dash of dried parsley and viola!!! You get to have this toast after a short distance run. Together with my Iced Matcha Latte! Huhuhuhu! I loved it so much! I have them for two days already! 

The crisp! The crunch! Wow! Fantastic!

Spring is here…

Finally I did my first 10Km this year! It’s been awhile since I run that long and strong. I think I was till in the Philippines sometime a year ago. The weather was breezy cold and cloudy that morning of Tuesday( March 17,2026) I was a little skeptical to go out that early morning since I saw the weather forecast It’s going to be sunny in the afternoon.  And I’m glad I did go that morning. I was so happy I felt teary when I finish strong, the body ache was there late afternoon and the morning I woke up. 

But as always, God gave me strength.

Mid running,  on my 5th and 6th km, I passed Eton and on the riverside, I saw the swans and ducks swimming on the river morning. It was so amazing and it is a picturesque! I did not hesitate to take some pictures because it was so lovely. There were different sizes of swans. Baby swans and huge swans!!! I love them. I paused for a bit and enjoyed the moment until they swam away. The breeze was cool, a nice way to breathe all my stress away. The picturesque of the swans with Eton on the background very overwhelming! I really love running during morning. This little sweet moment I captivated relieve me from a disappointing  news I heard the late afternoon which was I did not make it to a job interview i did last Thursday. But that was okay! I finally understood why it happened. God’s purpose is not what it is.

Few days after, I realized that I am still vain and ignorant.  I am not seeing what God’s plans and will is. I always think about myself and my own convictions. I always listen to Hillsong worship playlist everyday every time I go to work but I don’t read between the lines, the lyrics, the words and the gospels. God’s plan is not always what we used to want is. God’s plan is always his will and his timing. His plans are never too bad and selfless like us. He knows better than I do. He knows what’s best for us. He knows what will make us happy and content.  He knows what He is doing.

I realized that maybe it’s not for me? It’s not better? It will not make me happy? It will not make me grow? Or maybe it will be more stressful than the current job I am in. Who knows? But what I am trying to understand is, after all the miracles and all the things God gave me, why I am always doubting? Why do I always angry about things not turning out to be what I want to be. I am self convicting, selfish, and ignorant. I am a self centered person!

I started writing again..

Why?

I need to put myself humble again, this Lent, I decided to do social media fasting.. It’s been a month now since I used Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. It helped me slept better and early. Away from toxic culture of fame and vanity. I need to be the new me.  Humble, selfless and.  Self worthy. I need to accept it that I can’t earn from social media platforms. I am so weak to accept negative opinions and bashing. My patience is not for it. Collecting picturesque photographs is my happy but I can’t monetize them, I just can’t! 

But here I am, writing again. Because this is my first passion. 

Combining what I love, self content, running and motivation.

God’s purpose is one of my platforms.

God’s word is my inspiration.

I want to be selfless.

I want to surrender everything to God. He is my provider.

His love will keep me going. I always ask for patience and perseverance. He gives me trials.

He always knows I can overcome them because He made me strong.

I asked for strength, He gives me obstacles. He always knows what is best for us. So don’t lose hope. 

Keep going.

Make me humble