Greetings! Today is another day to reflect to a wonderful verse which I am really relying over the years. I love this verse so much! One of the powerful, most inspiring verse you can adapt if you are feeling low, needy and hopeless. This verse from Matthew 7:7 is a promise from Jesus urging persistent, active prayer and trust in God’s goodness. It means God is an approachable Father who delights in giving good gifts to those who earnestly seek Him.
I just spoke with my mum overseas this morning and I heard a devastating news, that her sister, our aunt died. She was one of mum’s closest sibling. Our help when we were in need a few decades ago when we were struck by a big storm that destroyed or house. She was also a good tailor and garments designer. She made us numerous dresses ever since we were born. She also attended my wedding amidst she was ill and old. She made it and were happy to see us. She was there at every stage of our lives. I also broke down to tears hearing the bad news a while ago. Especially when I heard she wasn’t treated nicely and was not spoiled by her children when she was still living. She sustained everything she has to her children, gave them everything. But when she got old, that good deed was not given back to her. She needs to continue working until she got ill just to sustain her own daily expenses. At her last days, she didn’t have any pension or insurance which her family could have used for her burial. It was so sad. It broke my heart. Me and mum cried out so hard, our eyes got so swollen. Until now, while I’m writing this blog, I am feeling a lil bit teary. I would never imagine treating my own mum like that. She deserves everything I have. All my trophies, my victories, my achievements, even my sorrows, she knows.
My mum decided to extend our condolences to my cousins and sent them money. I also offered them any help or assistance that I can. Money is easily earned, but our love and assistance will be forever remembered. I hope my aunt sees us what we can do for her until this very day. She will be forever missed. She might not be lucky raising helpful and selfless children, atleast she has good nieces and a sister who is still here for her even when she’s gone. I hope the Lord sees us and forward a message to her sending or regards that she will be missed and remembered. Even when she has no personal savings when she was still living, I know she just thinks about her children and forgets her own. She’s a selfless mum. She was not even lucky to have a husband of her own. I admired her braveness and strength raising five children. God has been so good with her. She even became an OFW for so many years. Being here overseas is so hard. It’s not easy. The equivalent of money you earn every month to your family would not equal the value how you miss every second of your family. The comfort is so far behind what everyone is seeing. It is not like that. The cost of living is killing us. The diversity and multiculturalism is not easy. It takes a lot of patience, perseverance, motivation and commitment. Even swallowing your own pride, your bachelor’s degree is nothing. You are doing similar to what undergrads are doing here and you both earning a minimum wage. Being grateful and not complaining will make you different.
It came back to my memory the times when I have nothing. Even a single peso, I was so broke. It was really difficult when you have no money. You can’t even ask your parents or your friends because they might see you as a failure. But God really was so good. He never forgets me. I was literally always crying every night and wishing to end my life. But I was visioning my family dealing my debts even when I am gone. That will be so embarrassing.
Even now, I have multiple loans from the Philippines. It will take me 3 more years to finish all of them. That is why my current job is so important to me because this helps me pay them and also helps my husband pay some of our bills. Money makes the world really go round. Money is also a root cause of evil.
The verse today is not just about material desires, it also seeking God even in our darkest times. I would imagine other people, where do they cling when you have nothing? Is it their family? Friends? Our family sometimes is not the best to say our problems. I would personally keep it. I’m honestly not comfortable telling all what I feel to them especially to my mum. She judges me easily. I had several encounters with my mum that I would cry and feeling anguish and hate because she doesn’t understand me. She usually gaslights me. But because I feel she was maltreated when she was young. Her inner child wasn’t healed. I was the one understanding her. My sister usually feels the same way too. I didn’t know until lately that my sister had so many encounters with my mum and hated her all her high school and university days. She was so persuaded and decided to leave home. She was now doing well on her craft. She is doing good in everything she does and she has “Raphael” now which she can rely. And I am so happy to see her grow and to be loved. She deserves everything in the world because she is a good sister, a good daughter and a good person. I always broke down to tears whenever I think about my sister. I see her always as my little baby sister. There was just 2 major fights we had all my life. And those times was the worst. I would always felt guilty and resentful whenever I reminisce them.
I am really blessed to have a beautiful sister. She is more mature than me. She was so selfless. I miss how we sleep together in one bed. Fighting over stupid plushies and pillows. Our life was so simple back then. I never imagined until this day that we will be apart. We were just those kids who were just struggling to go home without being scolded because we don’t wear our jackets or because we threw our leftover lunches. I miss home because of her. That’s why I cried heavily on my wedding day, the moment she gave her speech. I would also cry on her wedding day too. I’m always going to be the big sis se can ever rely to. No matter what happens, sisters forever.
God gave me a sister whom I can rely anytime. She is my biggest blessing. This verse is a living proof that there is always someone whom God made for you to rely. Just like my cousins, their mum, Tita Denz, is a proof that God will never forsake them though their dad was gone at their early years. Their mum was a beacon of strength and their pillar of light. Her works will always be missed. Her deeds will never be forgotten.
Lord please, let her rest with you. May you be with her until we meet her again soon.
Tita Denz, we will miss you. You will be forever in our hearts. Rest easy.
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